My Repentance of Sexual Sin
The reason I question my salvation is the very fact that I keep sinning. I consciously do it because I enjoy the feeling of the sin – it’s masturbation. I believe I am addicted to it, or I am having a hard time letting it go. So, what are the plethora of questions you may have for me? Q’s = Are you married? Why do you keep doing it? Have you tried repenting from it? Did you surrender it to Jesus Christ? What measures have you placed to keep you from masturbating? Do you look at porn? Since you are writing this blog entry, are you ready to repent from this act and walk in Jesus Christ’s Light and Grace?
Here are my answers:
I am married to a beautiful, wonderful wife. There are some theories of why I keep doing this sinful act – 1)I first saw a porn magazine my dad hid when I was 10 or 11 years old.
2)At 12 years old, I was molested.
3)I was stripped from developing emotionally, psychologically, and maybe physically into a man. I buried the molestation for years; I didn’t know it happened. I just grew up constantly angry. When I accepted Jesus Christ into my life, I asked Him for a revelation of my anger. In a dream, he showed me what happened when I was 12 years old. I was shocked, hurt, and empty. It explained my anger and how I behaved in the past. I confessed my sins to God and asked for forgiveness. Since then, I have been battling with my sexual desire for masturbation. Can I freely give myself to my wife, or will there be some part of me not given when we have sex?
4)I surrender this act and behavior to God and ask Him to help me each day.
5) I will read Scripture each day in the morning, lunchtime, and late evening. I will pray after each reading and ask God to help in my masturbation-free journey.
6) I didn’t look at porn this time, and I am surrendering that as well.
7) My unhindered prayer to You, “Lord Jesus, I believe You are the Christ, the Messiah Who took upon Yourself the Wrath I deserve by dying on the Cross. I believe You died, buried, and rose from the dead. I believe You are seated at the right hand of God and will come back for Your Bride. So, I repent of this terrible, dreadful sin of masturbation, and I repent of any thoughts that lead to that terrible sin. Please help me with every second of my life. You have a burning of writing to shine Your Glory; please fulfill what You created in me. I love You, Jesus, my Lord. Please do not take away the Holy Spirit from me. I wish I had never seen that porn magazine, got molested, or committed the sins I committed in the past, yet what has happened made me run to You for forgiveness, solace, grace, and peace through You, my Lord. Please guide me to be the man of God I am supposed to be to lead my family and others I come in contact with in my journey to You. Please give me Wisdom for all future endeavors. Father God, I pray, confess my deeds, and ask for these requests through Jesus Christ, my Lord, and Your Son. Amen!”
I pray that this message reaches those who have the same struggles. Father God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are there for you, cry out to them, confess your sins, repent, and believe in Jesus Christ that He is our Savior and King!
I will pray for you!
May Jesus’ peace be with you!
Q.B. Finn
